Mark It With a "W"

When I was in the MTC my companion's name was Elder Wald. We decided early on that it made sense, given our small volume of total laundry, to combine our clothing into one load. Of course, since it mostly consisted of near-identical white items, we needed to mark the tags with our initial.

Ever since I was a kid I have used W as my marking initial, J being too ubiquitous a letter for practical use in our household. Accordingly, I marked all my clothing with a W without thinking too much of it. Imagine our collective frustration and amusement when Elder Wald and I later attempted to sort our clothingstuffs.

Trip from Orem

So, this Thanksgiving our Knight relatives came to dinner at my parents' house, and it reminded me of a story from when Alison and I were dating. Here it goes.

After I returned from my mission, Alison and I started into some serious dating-ness. I would commute down to Provo (Alison was at BYU at the time), stay overnight at the Knights' house in Orem, and go back home. Diane gave me a key to the house one time when I was down there and told me to just let myself in. Well, Alison and I spent a long time together and I started toward Orem from BYU at about 4:30 am. At 5:00 I was at the Knights' house with a key that didn't work. I didn't want to wake them up to get in, and it was very cold (it was March, I think) so I didn't want to sleep in the car. I put some gas in the car and started for home as a gentle snow began to fall.

By the time I got to the freeway, that gentle snowfall was quickly turning into a blizzard. Luckily for me, I was tired enough that it didn't matter much. In fact, I think I slept most of the way home. I would wake up, notice I had changed lanes or was going 85 miles per hour, slow down and change back, all in a swirling storm with almost no visibility. Then I would drift back off into slumberland. I arrived at my parents' house at 6 am, went downstairs and dropped into bed. I'm positive that someone else was driving the car that morning, because I think my surviving was highly statistically significant.

I wrote Alison an email the next day and told her what had happened, expecting I guess that she would share my amusement at how I didn't die in a fiery wreck. Imagine my surprise when she was upset at my lack of foresight. I suppose she would have objected to her near-fiancee dying horribly.

There have been a couple other times in my life when I know I have been preserved. It makes me wonder for what. Most of those wondering times end with my being certain that whatever potential future I was saved for, I'm not anywhere close to meeting it.

Exciting Plans

Well, I just got back from my orthopedist's office, and have made plans for surgery. I will be going in on Tuesday for an ACL revision (cadaver patellar graft). He will try to repair the meniscus at the same time; if it can't be repaired they will take it out. If they can repair it, I will be off my foot for six weeks. If they have to take it out, my recovery will be faster but my osteoarthritis will progress faster as well (with my eventual knee replacement coming sooner).

I'm nervous about the surgery because it's a big unknown. Once I'm asleep I will have no control over what happens. I worry about complications. I worry about reacting to anesthesia. I worry about how my family will handle my recovery and my lack of contribution. I worry about what will happen with my job and our finances. With all this worrying, I'm sure anyway that things will work out the way they are supposed to, no matter what happens. I wish I could accept that with more faith.

Insult to Injury

To begin with, a bit of history. In early 2000, my ACL was torn in a soccer game. One major surgery later, I began a mostly sedentary lifestyle. Seven years later, my ACL graft failed (the next time I played soccer) and I have been ACL-deficient ever since. I got an ACL brace at that time, which I have used more or less consistently when I have done anything active.

This last Friday the 13th, I joined a friend to play some Ultimate Frisbee. I had been playing for half an hour with no problems, then I kicked off for the first time and my knee twisted. 10 days later, I still can't really walk or straighten my leg.

I went to see the orthopedic surgeon today who saw me in 2007, and it looks like my future holds at least one surgery. My options are not looking great at this point. I have an MRI tomorrow to see what the exact problem is (likely something with my meniscus). The results will dictate what correction needs to be taken. Regardless of the outcome though, the MD says if I don't get my ACL repaired again my knee will always be unstable, which will just increase the damage to other structures. If there is a meniscus tear that can be repaired, not having an ACL repair at the same time will make the meniscus repair a temporary thing. An ACL repair will involve six weeks of no weight bearing, i.e. no work, plus more time for physical therapy.

If I get the surgery done right away, I will use up my insurance deductible and my max out of pocket right at the end of the year, which would be totally lame. So, I would like to try and just not walk on it much (use crutches) until the beginning of the year. However, I only have 80 hours (3 1/2 weeks) of extended care leave (ECL) I can use, and HR won't let me work on crutches, so I won't be able to wait because I need the ECL for recovery; either that, or I will be going against my doctor's advice and working on my leg from now until January. We have already used up our flex spending money for this year, and we can't use next year's for expenses from this year, so we would have to pay for it all now. Plus, if I wait until next year I will run into next semester, when I will have more clinicals I need to do, which would be difficult without being able to walk.

So, basically, the best thing to do financially will be to wait until early next year to have surgery. What will probably happen if I need surgery will be that I will need to do it right now. Very lame. Wouldn't it be great to have a whole year with no deductible or copays? On the other hand, if it is done now, the MRI will have eaten up a lot of my out-of-pocket maximum already so if the surgery is done this year it will cost me a lot less.

Anyway, this is all speculation right now. I don't really know what is wrong yet. There is a very small chance I can just put off surgery. The good news is that, if I have surgery done at Davis Hospital and pay up front, the most this whole thing will cost me is $1500.

What a mess. I'm not entirely sure what we're going to be doing about this, but I'm sure things will work out for the best. However, I'm looking at the rest of my life without ever playing any competitive sports again, which is depressing.

If this post seems somewhat distracted, it's because I am trying to type while I watch Beauty and the Beast with Isaac. You'd think it would be the toddler I'd blame for my distraction, but I really love this movie. Plus, in the scene where the Beast saves Belle from the wolves in the snow, Belle is totally hot. Belle was my dream girl for forever.