New Job

I just had my third day at my new job. I haven't actually started doing what I was hired for yet, just generally oriented to the facility and attended a couple of meetings, but I am really excited. I have really entertaining exchanges with the residents, and feel like I have been warmly embraced by the staff here. I will be training for my official job starting next Tuesday.

I told my DON I planned on making a shiny new med program for them and she said she knew I would, and that's why she chose me for the job. I feel the weight of expectation here but instead of being oppressive it gives me strength. I'm not sure how to explain it.

I told Alison as we went down to eat dinner with Grandpa and Uncle Bobo that I was sad I had to wait two days before I could go back to work. I know I'm in honeymoon phase right now with this job, but it feels so good to look forward to going to work again and know that instead of being one of many replaceable licensed staff I am valued for my individual talents and potential. I didn't realize how much of a difference that would make.

Anyway, thanks to all who prayed for me to find a job, and especially for those priesthood blessings which promised I would find a job I would enjoy. That really gave me strength when I was starting to give up. I'm not sure why I have been blessed with such faith in the power of the priesthood, but I know it's real.

Anyway, it's late.

SketchUp

So, I just tried Google SketchUp for the first time. Clearly this is not professional work. I tried the chairs in the demo videos and then decided to make a table leg. Um, I mean a table-leg light saber.

Or What Shall A Man Give In Exchange For His Soul?

I was invited by a friend to go to a movie at midnight last night/this morning, which movie shall remain unnamed. When I mentioned it to my wife she said, "Isn't that rated R?" Well, the thing was, I wasn't sure whether it was or not. What I was sure of was that I trusted this friend of mine and was fairly sure he or she would not have invited me to a movie of the bad sort. So, I accepted. I knew enough about the movie and its stars to know I would be interested in seeing it, but not much more than that.

The thing is, I had plenty of warnings from my friend HG Wells (not his real name). First there was the thought that I should check just to be sure what the rating was. That I reasoned my way out of successfully by thinking maybe they played different versions of the movie in different markets, so even if it were rated R somewhere else perhaps it wouldn't be here. I knew it was a ridiculous idea. But, I didn't check and knew even at the time why I didn't.

I arrived at the theater in SLC at about 11:30 pm and took my ticket from my friend, who had paid my way. It had a great big letter R on it (a scarlet R, I think retrospectively). HG says to me, "you know, it's not too late not to go. You know it's R now, you could pay for the ticket and leave or go to something else and not have any hurt feelings." Well, I thought, she's already bought the ticket. Maybe it will just have one scene in it, and I can close my eyes or something.

(Isn't it amazing, the sort of crappy reasoning Satan can let you get by with?)

After that we sat in the theater and waited. For 30 minutes. Minutes in which I thought about my Sunday School class full of teenagers to whom I constantly emphasize the importance of doing nothing which would offend Mr. Wells. Minutes in which I analyzed the probable consequences of doing nothing - including the just-mentioned giving of offense, the effects on myself of premeditated transgression, and my resulting less-powerfulness should my power be needed.

Then, I stayed in my seat and watched. At first there was some way to think that there was just that one scene (the one with all the F-Bombs in it) that had caused the R rating. Countless slayings and flying pieces of anatomy lesson later, any possible justification was gone and I was left to myself.

I thought on the way home about why I didn't do what I knew I should, and what the friendly Mr. Wells had been telling me, and why I ignored him. I came to several conclusions. The first is that I was curious. Would R-rated violence really be that much worse than PG-13 violence? (It was.) Would the effects on myself spiritually really be that bad? (They were.) Wouldn't the thrill of great action scenes outweigh the sick feeling I knew I would have? (Partially, I'll admit.)

Secondly, I had this Herodian problem of wanting to look good to them who sat with me at meat. I didn't want this friend, whom I respect, to think I didn't trust his or her judgment. What?! Am I still 14? I thought I was over that little peer pressure hurdle. Another great hypocrisy moment for the teacher of youth.

Thirdly, I was interested in doing the forbidden. Even if I have been using only a self-imposed filter and control, I still had the natural man attraction to sin pushing me forward.

As I drove home trying to pretend Mr. Wells would just come back and give me a hug right after I had ignored his advice, I thought about these conclusions and what I could learn from them. As someone who has done my fair share of repentance, I thought I understood enough to avoid situations like this. The contrast between driving with and without Mr. Wells was striking enough that it was very easy to see after the fact that whatever brief pleasure I may have found in going to the movie came nowhere close to outweighing the remorse and sickness I felt. I need to be more vigilant.

So, I guess in conclusion I will say that I feel I learned a bit about myself from this experience. Also, how do I face my class on Sunday knowing I didn't do what I have been teaching them to do? It seems like it could be a great teaching moment if I tell them about it. I'm prepared to see the speed bump in the rearview, forgive myself and move on

" " " " " ", Part II

Back in May, we were praying at night with the kids on their beds. Isaac and I prayed that they wouldn't have any scary dreams. From across the room we heard Aaron say in his prayer-voice, "No scary dreams! Oh no! My scary dreams fall off!"
The boys are, of course, frequently amusing while praying (when they aren't choosing to talk and run around, of course). Statements of religious belief are typically sweet (Aaron: "Jesus love me soooo much;" "Thank you for we can eat Caleb's cupcakes").

The next day was Sunday and the primary kids were at the front of the chapel singing for a prelude before sacrament meeting. I sat near the front so Isaac would know I was listening. I guess the child next to him was pretty loud because after a while he just covered his ears and looked sad.

Aaron loves a tiny stuffed puppy someone got in a kid's meal. He carries him around in his pocket or stuffed into the top of his shirt. Once when he was in trouble he called, "Help! Help, puppy!" which didn't produce much results. He said, "My puppy my very special friend." He pretended to put food in puppy's mouth and said, "I feeding puppy." Adorable. He also has an old stuffed kitty he calls Meowie. It is really cute watching him let his kitty talk on the phone.

I played The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks back in April and it was really cute watching Isaac trying to play the Song of Awakening by blowing into my DS. I guess maybe you had to be there for that one.

In the car, listening to "It Ain't Gonna Rain No More:"
Isaac: "Anka Ranka More sure is long."

Also in the car:
I: "Aunt Renee is my favorite person...She has chickens."

Also in the car, we sometimes need to reach back and keep a child awake by tickling. One time Isaac just wouldn't wake up, so I enjoyed a childish game of "stop hitting yourself" with his arm and face. Good times were had by all.

We have a young woman in our ward, Rachel, who has been our babysitter a few times. I think Isaac is in love with her in that cute little-kid way. He always suggests we have Rachel over when they need someone to watch them. He says "I like Rachel all the way." When we were recently discussing who could come over to stay with them if Alison went into labor, of course Rachel was suggested. We said that no, Rachel couldn't come because she was too young. Alison said it would have to be someone like grandma, or grandpa, or auntie Em, or Nana, or Poppy. So then Isaac said, "I'm diggin' Rachel's mom."
I'm not sure how my kids started saying that they dig things; I probably said it sometime. It has been a consistent form of entertainment, however. Example, while eating dinner at the Lowes' in July:
Isaac: "Dad, I dig this pizza."
Jordan: "I can dig it too."
Aaron: "I not dig it."
Uncle Bobo: "I dig the pizza too."
Aaron, reconsidering: "I try and dig it."

Once again, in the car:
Aaron: "I got mine coin. Put in my head."
Jordan: "You're putting your coin in your head?"
A: "Yes. My put my ten coin in my head."
J: "Why'd you do that?"
A: "My keep it safe. Not fall out."

At the dinner table; Aaron has some food on his hand and Alison is trying to get him to ask her politely to get a rag.
A: "Hey look" (holding out his hand)
Alison: "Is your hand sticky from the avocado?"
Aa: "Yes."
Al: "Is there something you want me to do about it?"
Aa: "Lick it."

We were lying down together on the bed and pretending to sleep, then pretending to wake up. Aaron said, "Yous guys lay down there. See you good morning."

We were eating blueberry bagels at the table and Alison was talking to Aaron about the letter B.
Al: "Blueberry, bagel...they all start with which letter?"
Aa: "P...p...p...p...P!"
Al: "B-b-b-B.
Aa: "P-p-p-p-B!"

And, lastly, Aaron was trying to use the digital camera to take my picture and he wouldn't hold the button down long enough for the flash to go off. I said, "No, bud, you need to push it down and wait until it flashes." Aaron set the camera down on the piano, looked at it, and said, "I wait it flashes."

Out of the Mouths of Babes, Part I

So, I've been meaning to post some of the amusing things my kids have been saying. I have hesitated though, partly because once you wait awhile your kids grow and the things they said a long time ago just don't seem as cute, and partly because I'm not sure if any of these would be amusing to outside observers. With that long-winded intro, here are some things I have been writing down on my pocket calendars.

Aaron loves to be included, so he loves to add "Me too!" or "And me!" after just about everything anyone says.
Setting: the car, back in March/April. We are about to get ice cream. Someone mentions that he/she likes ice cream.
Aa: "Me too!"
I: "I really like ice cream a lot. It's in my heart, or in my legs, or something...in my tummy..."
Aaron doesn't like being sticky, so of course after he dripped on himself he yelled "Clean me!"

Again in the car, Isaac is taking off his shoes and socks.
J: "Are you taking your socks off?"
I: "Well, kinda...like a rancher."
J: "Ranchers don't wear socks?"
I: "Well, yes, they do..."
J: "They just wear half socks?"
I: "Yes, ranchers are kinda fun."

Aaron also really likes to be naked. He will with utmost concentration remove his pants and unfasten his diaper, then fling off his diaper while yelling triumphantly, "Nekky time!!"
He also has a cute way of emphasizing what he says; example: "My YES want ice cream!"

While discussing possible baby names, Isaac repeatedly suggested Avigail.
J: "What if we don't name her Avigail? What if we name her Clara?"
I: "No, that's a scary name. Let's name her Avigail. Avigail is a donkey."

There is a song we sing in the car sometimes, and it goes like this:
Down by the bay, where the watermelons grow
Back to my home I dare not go
For if I do, my [relative] will say:
Have you ever seen a(n) [animal or object]
[action phrase which rhymes with previous line]
Down by the bay?

Anyway, we take turns making up things to go in the rhyming lines, and here are some of Isaac's:

Have you ever seen a crocodile eating basketti
Have you ever seen a tree standing on a people
Have you ever seen a green tree pushing a people into a hole
Have you ever seen a house standing on a lots of people (apparently he likes imagining people getting crushed and/or buried)

In mid-april, Aaron ate enough fruit that his mouth started to bleed. That same day we were in the car again. There is an old game we own called "Don't Talk To Strangers" which quizzes kids about what they should do in certain situations, mostly walking to/from school or at the store. We asked Isaac if there was a game he wanted to play in the car, and he suggested Don't Talk To Strangers. "I'll draw a board with my finger," he said. "I'll make a die." Then the questions began. After mom and dad asked a couple, Isaac came up with some which fit the theme of the actual questions really well (example: Dad, if you were in a store would you go into the school to do something? Aaron, if you were in school...if you were with a stranger would you just run away into school? Yes. Roll the die.)

Then one of those things happen which sets a dangerous precedent. Isaac all the sudden shouts, "I need to go potty!" in that voice that lets you know that if you don't stop RIGHT NOW there will be a puddle in the car seat. So, we pulled off the side of the highway and he stood outside between the two open doors and did his thing on the side of the road. After that, the questions took a different turn:

"Dad, if you were on the road would you go peepee on the road like I just went peepee? Yes. No, you are a grown-up. You would go peepee in the toilet."
And, my favorite: "If you were climbing a tree when you were a little boy would you just hold your peepee if you had a nail in your hand? No. No, you wouldn't."

Speaking of the bodily functions, I love when you are in church and your son asks if you will take him to the bathroom, then he yells "Oh yeah! Sword fight with peepee!!"

We were out walking somewhere and Isaac saw someone he thought looked familiar.
I: "Hey, man! Hey! Man!"
Man: "What's up?"
I: "Nothing...I thought you were my dad."

Contents

So, it has been a while since I have posted. My shirt pocket (the clothing equivalent of a junk drawer) now contains the following:

7 homemade pocket calendars filled with notations I need to consolidate
1 printed sheet of scriptures I haven't yet gotten around to memorizing, plus some notes from a temple trip
1 two-sided mega-sudoku (13 interconnected 9X9 puzzles)
2 sticky notes with topics for journal entries or blog posts, plus 1 scrap of cardboard with the same (may settle during shipping! one side proclaims)
4 business cards
1 Snowie frequent buyer card (isn't that location closed now?)
2 small slips of paper with very small amounts of writing on them
And, of course,
1 very special pen, 75% functional

I think it's time I cleaned up.