16 March 2015

Faith and Testimony

So, my boy was baptized in July of last year, so we switched from baptism prep Gospel Principles study to Preach My Gospel study. I had gotten out of the habit of reading with kids at night and we recently restarted, along with starting family scripture study in the morning. It feels great to be back in the saddle, and I feel a lot closer to them being more involved. I forget how easy it is to talk about the Gospel with kids. As Elder Holland once said in a great talk, you don't have to sneak up behind them and whisper religion in their ears.

So, I am reading Book of Mormon scripture stories with girl and boy #2 (boy #2 has started baptism prep, but wanted to finish Book of Mormon stories previously started), and reading Preach My Gospel with boy #1. I read with each of them for 5-10 minutes and pray with each one individually, and most of the time let them each pick a song.

The reading of Preach My Gospel has been especially great because it is giving me a chance to have deeper Gospel discussions with the baptized one. We recently did a dive into the justice/mercy/atonement topic, and a while ago started talking about faith. We read highlights of Alma chapter 32 and discussed the process of gaining one's own personal witness through the Holy Ghost of the truthfulness of various Gospel principles. I have stressed that it is totally normal and okay for a person to not have a secure belief right away. We talked tonight about how we need to first desire to believe, and prepare our own soil to receive the word. If you never read the scriptures or pray, it is a whole lot harder to gain a witness of the importance of scriptures and prayer and the reality of God's existence. A testimony isn't a gift that is just bestowed upon us, it takes work and persistence and a willingness to not cast out the seed by our unbelief. You have to read the Book of Mormon to gain a witness of it. You have to pray in order to receive answers. And the longer you go without reading or praying, the easier it is to listen to the voices - internal and external - that try to convince you that you are foolish for believing. It must have been hard to be a Nephite waiting for the birth of Christ, knowing that you would be killed if the sign didn't come and wondering if it was really worth holding on.

Anyway, I invited the boy to join me in the morning for my personal reading before we wake everyone up for family reading. I want to shepherd him through the process of receiving that confirmation. I know I can't give it to him, but I can help him develop the habit of reading and the love of the word. I won't pressure in this, just persuade. I want him to have a head start. I love the scriptures and I treasure the answers to specific prayers that I have received in their pages. I can feel my son light up when I tell him about them.

I wish more people were willing to acknowledge that they are still striving, especially in testimony meeting when my children hear everyone - especially other kids their age, who I am sure have the same lack of firmness - say what they know. It made me happy (and, I'm sure, some people uncomfortable) to have my boy get up a couple months ago and say that he doesn't know, but that he knows someday he can. It seems like in our church we have two main groups of people: the ones who seem rock solid in their conviction of Gospel principles, and the ones who wonder what is wrong with them because they aren't. We need to shed some light on the hard work involved in the formation of that solidity. We need to relearn how to do spiritual work.

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